Today, I’d like to introduce to you someone very special, Clifford Edwards. He’s an expert. This post is provocative and meant to be, but stay with it, you’ll find it very enlightening. Then, maybe you’ll see why I think Clifford is so special.
The F-Word – Why I Love and Use It Often!
Maybe You Will Too.
I Love the F-Word
I think the F-word has gotten kind of a bad reputation. It’s misunderstood, maligned and mis-applied too often. But I love it and use it for all kinds of incidents and situations, practically every day.
- When I make a mistake, screw up or have an accident of some sort: F-word!
- If I get into an argument with my wife or have a spat with a friend or colleague: F-word!
- If someone cuts me off, treats me rudely, unfairly or does something else I don’t like: F-word!
- For dealing with major heartbreaks, hurtful incidents, betrayals or victimizations: F-Word!
It’s flexible, useful and impactful. I can’t imagine giving it up. My life would be much less colorful, fun, potent and productive without it.
Okay, have I got your attention? Good, that was the point. Because the F-word I’m talking about is… Forgiveness. I love it and I apply it in all of the situations listed above – and more! I’ve learned to forgive myself and others as a means for experiencing less stress and anxiety, more freedom, clarity and greater peace of mind. You can too!
But frequently when I use the word forgiveness, people tune out or move on to something else. Because too often they think they know what forgiveness means and they don’t want it – or believe they don’t need it. They suffer under one or more of the common misconceptions about what it is, why it’s important and how to do it.
How about you, what are your notions and beliefs about forgiveness? What does this F-word mean to you? Do you love it? Do you use it, practice it and allow it to enrich the quality of your life? If not, are you open to considering it in a new light?
Common misconceptions and misunderstandings.
Probably the biggest one is that forgiving is for the benefit of the other person – often to the detriment of yourself. This is not true, forgiveness is best understood as something that you do for yourself! Others may benefit as a result, but act of forgiving is to support your own well-being.
It’s the way to relieve yourself of toxic burdens of negative emotion like anger, resentment, hatred, blame, guilt, regret and shame. It’s the way to free yourself from old limiting beliefs, noxious negative judgments and self-destructive habits or behaviors. It’s an effective way of cutting your ties to past hurts, wounds, grievances and mistakes, so that you can live freely and joyfully now and in the future.
Here are a few more common misconceptions. Forgiving and forgiveness mean that you:
- Condone the actions or choices of the other and make them right.
- “Let them off the hook” or absolve someone of any responsibility or consequences for their actions.
- Have to forget what happened and go back to the way things were so that you’re left open to being hurt, used or victimized again!
I’ve coined a term – empowered forgiveness. It captures the essence of the kind of forgiveness that’s available when you’re able to step out of the common misconceptions and misunderstandings. Empowered forgiveness is about claiming your right to be clear, strong and to feel great about yourself.
Imagine for a moment feeling light-hearted yet powerful, confident and self expressed. Imagine sharing and laughing with friends, family members and others free of resentments, guardedness, and judgments that used to bubble below the surface. Imagine speaking your truth, setting and holding good boundaries, while feeling love for yourself and others as never before!
That’s what the F-word offers to you. The ability to free yourself from mental and emotional burdens. True freedom of the mind and heart!
My primary mission in life now is to share about emotional education and this empowering, self-loving kind of forgiveness. Emotional education offers a set of perspectives and tools that allow you to understand and interpret the experiences of your life in personally responsible, healthy and serving ways.
The F-Word and You
I’ve written a book called The Forgiveness Handbook – A Simple Guide to Freedom of the Mind and Heart. It’s designed to dispel the most common misconceptions, and answer some of the frequently asked questions about forgiveness. In every chapter you’ll gain new perspectives, useful tools and find journaling exercises you can put to use to feel lighter and more empowered immediately. You can also get a Companion Workbook to help you do the exercises in a simple, structured way. You can find out more about the book here or go get it right now on Amazon.
I love this F-Word and I hope that you’ll come to love it, use it and practice it too. Because for your happiness and well-being, it’s better to be Forgiving than…!
Clifford Edwards is the Personal Liberation Specialist, author of the acclaimed book, The Forgiveness Handbook – A Simple Guide to Freedom of the Mind and Heart and developer of The Liberate ProcessTM. He has been a professional coach, trainer, and consultant in continuous practice for over seventeen years. Find out more at: http://cliffordedwards.com.